"The police guided me through the registration process, marking the beginning of an arduous journey which tested my resilience and determination. After completing the registration, I was sent to a refugee camp in Bramsche near Osnabrück. Life in the Bramsche refugee camp was confusing and depressing. The language barrier made it hard to communicate, and not knowing what would happen next made those two months feel endless. The camp was filled with people from various countries, each with their own languages and cultures, making it challenging to connect with others. The uncertainty and isolation weighed heavily on me.

After two months, I was transferred to a small town called Esterwegen in Lower Saxony. I shared a house with three other Pakistanis. Even though I could talk to them, my life was still hard because I was waiting for an answer regarding my asylum application. This town offered no opportunities for a foreigner, it was so small that after 6 PM there were no buses coming in or going out of town. The waiting period extended to more than three months, during which I was unsure of my future in Germany. Living in a new country, surrounded by uncertainty, made me very depressed.

I wanted to continue my education, so I asked in the local town hall if I could attend a school or university. Despite having the equivalent of a German high school education, I was told that I needed to wait for my application answer and complete an integration course first. Although I was somewhat relieved to know the next step, I found out from the nearest school that I had to wait another six months before the next integration would start. By that time, I had already spent six months in Germany alone, doing nothing but worrying about my future. Unfortunately, my asylum application was rejected by the court. I had no choice but to appeal and try again with the help of a lawyer who was recommended to me.

One night, at around 3:30 AM, I was suddenly woken up by more than eight policemen in the house. They came to deport one of my roommates because his application had been rejected. The fear of experiencing the same fate kept me awake at night, and I often had nightmares about being taken away.

Determined to change my situation, I decided to create opportunities for myself. I found the English taught international study program Print Media Technologies at HdM which rose my interest and I applied for admission. I had to take an interview where  was asked about my academic background and my aspirations. Luckily I got admitted and received a letter of enrollment. However, I was told by the immigration authority that I couldn't leave my assigned residence in Esterwegen without permission. Since Stuttgart was an eight-hour journey from Esterwegen, I had to travel back every one or two weeks to check my mail and prove I was still living there. This routine was exhausting and expensive because I always traveled at night to save money. Despite these challenges, I remained committed to my education.

I applied to transfer from Esterwegen to Stuttgart, but it took over a year and a half. The COVID-19 pandemic temporarily stopped my travel, which gave me some relief, but it also brought new challenges. By this time, my application for asylum had already been rejected twice, and I was issued a document called Duldung. Living in Germany with a Duldung visa, which means "temporary suspension of deportation," was very stressful. I couldn't leave the country, had to live at my assigned city and was not allowed to work without permission. The process of obtaining this document usually takes up to 8-12 weeks. All of this instilled me with another fear if I would be able to complete my studies. I received no financial support and with the help of the study program and the work I did as a student assistant, I managed to keep myself afloat.

The fear of deportation and the possibility of not completing my studies haunted me, disrupting my sleep and making me avoid my room at night. I knew I had to do something to stay in Germany. With limited options, I found out about the Härtefallkommission (Hardship Commission) and, with the help of my Academic Dean, Prof. Dr. Volker Jansen, I applied for it in July 2021. He went with me to the police station in Stuttgart as I had no passport, which I needed for the application. My passport was taken by the traffickers during my long journey from Pakistan to Germany via the Balkan route. The police gave me a confirmation that my passport had been stolen and with this document I was able to apply for a new passport at the Pakistani embassy. This process took serveral weeks. When my new passport finally arrived, the Härtefallantrag (hardship application) could be submitted. Prof. Jansen wrote a long justification for the application, which cannot be issued by the asylum seeker him or herself. Despite the low success rate, I did not lose hope. These worries often distracted me from my studies, but I was determined not to give up.

In January 2023, the Härtefallantrag was finally accepted by the Ministry of Justice. I could apply for a residence permit and I received a valid residence permit that allowed me to work and live anywhere in Germany. For the first time I was allowed to travel outside of Germany. After four years of struggle, I finally felt a sense of freedom and security. In May 2024, I graduated with a Bachelor's degree of Engineering in Print Media Technologies from HdM.

Today, I am pursuing a career in engineering and continue to live in Germany. Although I still feel uneasy around the police and sometimes fear deportation, I believe that my decision to pursue my education was crucial. Looking back, I realize that despite the fear and uncertainty, my perseverance and the support from others helped me overcome the toughest times. My choices and motivation to improve myself led me towards success.

My story shows the strength and resilience of the human spirit. I hope everyone who is in the same situation does not lose hope and keeps trying the best to improve themselves. Learning is a crucial part of life that can help you to get out of any situation."

Fawad Ul Hassan